


When Did I Fall In Love With You?

by homicidalgaypoltergeist



Category: Welcome to Hell - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Character Death, College, College AU, Gay, Homicide, M/M, Roommates, Sad, Sad Ending, Sleepwalking, Stabbing, Suicide, TRIGGER WARNING!!, au where sock is real and didn’t kill his parents and they both made it to college, im proud of them both, pls don’t hate me too much for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 21:39:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15373902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homicidalgaypoltergeist/pseuds/homicidalgaypoltergeist
Summary: TRIGGER WARNINGthere’s knives and blood and shit so please be safe!! also some suicidal stuff





	When Did I Fall In Love With You?

**Author's Note:**

> wassup fuckers what’s happening in swiftyville  
> TRIGGER WARNING suicide, knives and blood and shit, major character death, read the tags   
> I hope that’s enough?? idk  
> anyway don’t hate me too much for this one okay guys

Sock wasn’t totally sure the moment he fell in love with Jonathan.

Maybe it was the sound of his voice, the moment he replied to their history professor who called out his name, first day of the semester. The deep, velvety “Here” that resonated from his mouth.

Maybe it was the moment Sock turned to see the man seated in the seat behind him, and Jonathan’s blue eyes met his for just a second.

Or maybe it was the next day, second day of junior year of college, when he spotted Jonathan pouring a mountain dew into a cup with a double shot can of coffee. He had looked up at the boy and said, “Dude, that might kill you!”

Jonathan had simply looked down at him with sunken eyes, and said very softly, “Guess i’ll die then.”

Yeah, maybe that was when Sock fell in love with him. 

Now, as Sock stared at his ceiling at 4 a.m., he tried to pinpoint a moment. 

It could’ve been when Jonathan turned to him after class and asked for his number, “For homework and shit.”

Or maybe when they took the bus to that one little coffee shop together to work on a project.

Maybe it was over time, like how Jonathan always kept his promises, and never backed out, ever. Or how Jonathan would never abandon him. At least, he hadn’t yet.

Maybe it was how Jonathan had stuck around with him longer than anyone ever had, before.

Perhaps, it was halfway through the summer before senior year, when Jonathan asked to hang out.

Maybe it was when Jonathan played him a song on his guitar.

Or when they filled out their roommate requests, requesting each other, of course.

Maybe it was when they laid on Jonathan’s bed, laughter dying down to comfortable silence, and Jonathan said, “You really are my best friend, Sock.”

Maybe it was because he had a best friend.

Perhaps it was the day before senior year, when they unlocked their boxes together in their room.

Or maybe it was when Sock had a nightmare, and Jonathan had woken him up, looking more frightened than he was. 

Maybe it was that night, when Jonathan showed just how much he really cared.

Or maybe it was their first kiss, at that same little coffee shop.

Whenever it was, Sock knew it was long before this night.

He knew that he had loved Jonathan for a very long time. So long, that he laid here, trying to pinpoint when, trying to distract himself from thinking about what to do now.

Trying to distract himself from when he woke up in a daze, standing over Jonathan’s bed.

Trying to distract himself from the knife he held and the blood, fresh and slick on his hands and his clothes.

Trying to distract himself from Jonathan’s pale and lifeless body, lying in the bed a few feet away in the same room.

Trying to distract himself from the contrast of blood against Jonathan’s pale skin, obvious even in the dead of night.

Sock knew he wouldn’t be able to find the exact moment, for he had always loved Jonathan. Jonathan was a part of him, and the only part he loved about himself.

Sock considered his options. There weren’t many.

_ What’s stopping me?  _ he considered.

Nothing, really.

He arose from his bed, and picked up the knife that his shaking hands had dropped a couple hours earlier in shock and fear.

_ Well old friend, I never thought i’d find myself at your business end… _

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes tight, and plunged the knife toward his stomach.

He smiled, and barely felt himself hit the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda want to write all of the moments i had Sock mention and put them all together. Should I write them as a chartered fic or a series???  
> anyway what did you think??  
> i’m kinda sorry but not really   
> shrug emoji


End file.
